TMI, or, to De-Friend or Not to De-Friend

The downside of social media:  not necessarily what you think it is.

Ordinarily, I am enthusiastically positive about the Internet and everything it brings to our lives.  Access to information.  Varied perspectives.  Connections.  Used for good, it can foster empathy, understanding, insight.

But then sometimes there are things you just don’t want to know.  Have you ever liked someone a ton until you saw that she joined a group entitled “Marriage = one man, one woman” on Facebook?  Or that his latest status update equates Obama with Darth Vader?  Or that he has absolutely no clue how to spell most polysyllabic words?  Or that she’s wearing (shudder) jeggings in her profile pic?

Yeah.  It’s a problem.

Some friends I like better and better the more I know about them.  Others?  Not so much.

I’m all for diversity of opinions, different voices, food for thought.  Many issues are not all that clear, and any thoughtful discussion or reliable information goes into the mish-mash of mental material that informs my opinions and decisions.  And I spent nine years as a litigator (and many more years engaged in argument or debate of one form or another), so I have no aversion to honest disagreement or thoughtful, substantive discourse on contentious issues.  But you can’t have a meaningful discussion with someone who fabricates facts, who prefers blind fear and instinctual hatred to any form of logic, who scorns knowledge and reflection as somehow stuffy or effete.

I’m sure I’ve been de-friended or blocked in recent weeks for some of my more pointed political jabs.  So be it.  I know I’ve adjusted my settings to block status updates from certain “friends,” just for the sake of my blood pressure.  If online absence makes the heart grow fonder – or at least prevents the heart from wanting to stab someone in the eye repeatedly –  I guess I can live with that.

But poor grammar and bad taste?  There’s no place for that shit.

Not satisfied with simply having me block your status updates?  Want me to de-friend you?  Some helpful tips:

1.  Refer to healthcare reform as “Obamacare.”  Nothing says intellectual honesty and thoughtfulness like parroting Beckspeak.  Referring to the President of the United States as “Barry” or “Nobama” also earns serious demerits.

2.  Deploy other coded language, like “traditional values” (translation:  I hate and fear gay people and women who earn more than men do), “elitist” (translation:  I was too lazy / stupid / short-sighted to get an education myself, and firmly believe that some woman / racial minority / ethnic minority took my spot), “reverse racism” (translation:  I want to revert to a time when mediocrities like me were handed the world on a platter just because we were white males), “big government” (translation:  I only like government programs and services that help ME, not ones that help other people), or “strident” (translation:  strong, opinionated, independent women threaten my fragile worldview).  I can go on, but it’s just depressing.

3.  If you are over the age of eighteen, quote or reference Ayn Rand without irony.

4.  Imply that Muslim = terrorist.

5.  Imply that all goodness and morality stem from religion (or, more specifically, from the “right” religion).

6.  Be an ignorant, intellectually stunted douchebag (see 1-5).

Easy enough?  Apparently so.

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One Comment on “TMI, or, to De-Friend or Not to De-Friend”

  1. Daniel Says:

    Not gonna lie . . . I ❤ your blog.


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